Seven Strategies to Have a Successful First Date and Make Her Want You

Eleanor Hanson

1. Don’t make it a dinner date.

Do you like interviews? Neither does she. Instead, make it a wine bar or lounge date. Dinner date is too high pressure. Get to know each other first in a casual, low pressure setting.

2. Sit side by side.

Now you definitely realize why #1 is so crucial, right? It’s easy to sit side by side at a bar or on a couch. Try that at dinner (it can be done but she may find it strange on the first date). Why sit side by side? Because it conveys familiarity and comfort. Also, you’re able to make smooth moves to escalate the interaction, such as holding her hand, lightly brushing against her side, whispering into her ear, or caressing her leg. Try doing that at a dinner table with her sitting 3 feet across from you! (please, don’t try it, OK?)

3. Give her a hug as soon as you see her.

It’s much better than a handshake, which is so business like and doesn’t convey romance. A hug makes it more intimate… and plants the seed of romance in her mind.

4. Be curious about her.

Don’t try to impress her by telling her all the fancy accomplishments or exotic cars you’ve got. Instead, just be curious about who she is and find out if you think she’d be a good match for the exciting life you’re enjoying. Don’t chase her by over-selling yourself, but instead, be the one asking her questions.

Oh, this next one is amazing: it’s absolutely going to skyrocket your success rate for 2nd dates!

5. Ask her for the second date during the first date.

Remember #4, be curious about her? What you want to do is find out, among other things, a good reason for you guys to get back together another time. For example, if she likes wines, a good reason to get back together would be to go to the wine country or enjoy this special bottle you have at your place. The reason should be more than “just to have another date” with no purpose. So you find out a mutual interest and make plans to do something together next time related to that interest. Ask her for the 2nd date maybe 45 minutes into the first date if you’ve set up the first date to last about 1 hour (never do it at the very end like at the 59th minute). So you have 45 minutes to find mutual interests. Easy, right? Then you say something “oh, we should do [this] together…” and specify date/time. Why is this a great strategy? First, you’re super smooth and natural. Second, you let her know you’re interested in her (by wanting to see her again). Third, you get instant feedback whether she wants to see you again or not. No phone tag or “should I call her or not?” type of deal. And fourth, her commitment level will be highest when she’s right there in front of you and enjoying your company.

6. Show intent.

Obviously, #5 does that (see, this is all consistent and smooth, isn’t it?). Other ways I recommend to show your romantic interest in her include trying to hold her hand (either when you sit side by side or after the date when you’re walking her back to her car, for example), and trying to kiss her. She doesn’t have to accept your kiss but it’s important that you try because it signals confidence and your romantic interest in her. But please, if she says no, don’t react at all. Pretend like nothing happened and continue talking. The worst you can do is ask why she didn’t want to kiss you. Hint: you may want to try and kiss her in a semi-private environment, not in public in front of everybody

7. Text her 1 hour after the end of the date.

Tell her you enjoyed getting to know her, are looking forward to [the event you planned together], and (if it’s at night) “sweet dreams”. This lets her know you’re thinking about her (women love this!) and she has a nice written trace of you on her cell phone that she can refer back to again and again (trust me, she will!).

Implement these strategies and your success on dates will skyrocket!

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